I haven’t written here for a while; I’ve just been uploading one photo with a status to update on my mundane life. It’s just everything has become too hectic lately. I’ve been occupied with organic chemistry – actually, claiming so would be qualified as lying. I don’t dedicate as much time as I used to in the beginning of the semester to my studies.
I have roughly two weeks left, and at the end of the second week I travel back to Pakistan. Within these two weeks a multitude of events have been crammed. Cousins getting married, holidays, etc. Everyone has scheduled their events to make sure all can attend before most of the villagers travel for the mother country.
I haven’t been back to Pakistan for 4 years now. The last time we travelled back was after performing umrah, Alhamdulillah. I wasn’t excited to go back then and for some reason, I’m not excited to go back now. I’ve wanted to go back to the motherland for such a long time. Now that we booked our tickets and are packing bags, I’m uncomfortable with the idea of traveling back.
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I don’t want my dad to bring up a proposal. I have complete faith that he would not bug me with the idea of marriage , because a) it hasn’t even crossed his mind yet and b) he is already getting three children married. The latter is a more viable reason then the former.
In my family – I can’t speak for the entire village, just my clan – children don’t get a say on their wedding. The parents tend to the proposals. Which has never made sense to me. Yes, the marriages work Alhamdulillah. There are few that never ripen. But that’s just how life is. Arranged marriages are a norm and often favored in many Muslim majority countries. And Pakistan is no exception. All three of my siblings have been arranged. Part of me accepts that my parents will pick the perfect partner for me. But another part wants to go out and find the “love of my life.”
But whatever, everything happens for the best. Just gotta keep my head held high, and have faith in Him.